Brutal Truth
by Silver Sniper
Summary: Yuffie comes up with the theory that Sora is the child of Leon and Cloud. In which Cloud looks for the closest escape route, Leon is having trouble explaining the concept of reproduction to Yuffie, and Yuffie is compltely clueless.
1. Chapter 1

Kingdom Hearts © Square-Enix

Well, I'm not really sure that this has been done before, (because I'm never very sure about anything and my attention to fine detail is at a minimum) so if it has, my bad. Don't spite at me, just tell me. Maybe a little bit OOC because I probably haven't really got a good hold on their characters yet.

* * *

Brutal Truth

* * *

It first popped up in Yuffie's mind when she was watching the keyblade master obliterating his final opponent during the Hades Cup. After going easy on him and gracefully loosing, (Okay, so maybe that wasn't _exactly_ the way it was, but it was _close_.) Yuffie had been in a fowl mood as she watched the tiny kid pound away at everyone in his path, thinking how easily it could have been her doing the exact same thing. She had gotten even more fumed when Leon brushed past her with a smirk before he and Cloud confronted the teen. Only when she saw that they were thoroughly mopped with by Sora and co. did she regain a little bit of joy. Of course, spending so much time pondering over the boy left her with some interesting theories, especially during the Leon-Cloud match. The spunky girl caught up with the two after their loss. 

"Hey! Wait up!" she called as she scurried to catch up to the two of them. Leon stopped briefly to cast her a quizzical look before turning his back on her again while Cloud just walked on, completely unconcerned about Yuffie. If there was one thing among many that she really despised, it was being ignored, especially by Leon, because he always ignored her when she least wanted to be ignored.

Frowning, Yuffie put in an extra effort to catch up, and before long she had wedged herself between Leon and Cloud. Again, Leon looked a bit annoyed, and Cloud completely unfazed at her existence. Yuffie didn't take well to either of these reactions, so she decided to spark the conversation… beginning on a sour note.

"So, you two really got beat out there," she said with an earsplitting grin. The notable frown from Leon and the slight twitch from Cloud were enough to refill her joy bar to a max. So what if she just got her butt kicked by someone who was younger than her? He kicked everyone's butt during the tournament, including the two guys she had sandwiched herself between.

"We did better than you," Leon muttered, clearly still bitter about the defeat. That bit certainly poked Yuffie's joy meter down a notch, but she quickly recovered her regular optimistic physique as she directed her stare between Leon and Cloud at a lightning fast pace, no doubt irking both males. One may testify Yuffie's sanity right then, but Leon knew that this was just her normal mode, which made dealing with her a hassle at times… like this one.

"Stop." Yuffie's stare landed on Cloud, who, for the first time, had finally said something. Though it might not have been the most positive of greetings Yuffie would've liked to get, she certainly didn't complain, especially since she hardly knew him beyond his name. However, it wasn't soon before her eyes were darting between the two guys again, much to their annoyance.

"Yuffie…" The sentence from Leon did not need to be finished, because his exasperated glare was enough to tell the girl exactly what he wanted. Yuffie returned his glare with a wide smile as she received her planned opening to take a stab at her subject of choice:

"Say, Cloud, do you have any kids?"

There was a sudden halt to Leon's step, and Cloud seemed to have almost tripped on his cloak at this comment. Had their not been a thousand other spectators walking around them and Cloud not known this girl and Leon not have been there, Cloud would've very well weighed the option of detaching her head from her shoulders, permanently. Yuffie looked completely oblivious to how her innocent question caused such an impact on the reserved blond. In fact, there was an air of curiosity that hung in her eyes that stated fairly well that she meant not harm.

"Yuffie, don't be ridiculous," Leon muttered as he gave her a frustrated look. The day was horrible enough as it is because he had just lost to the same person for the third time, and he certainly didn't need a conversation like this to weigh it down even more.

"Well, Squall, do _you_ have any kids?" she pestered. She could just feel the air tensing with that comment, but she wasn't bothered a bit, lured in by amusement.

"It's Leon," he stated.

"Well, do you?" Yuffie asked again. Another piercing glare told her she couldn't be farther from the truth. "Hey, I'm just asking."

"It's an odd thing to be asking about." It took a while for Yuffie to register that this had come from Cloud, because she never expected him to be talking. (Didn't seem like the type to waste unneeded breath.) Her grin immediately came back as soon as she realized that the spiky-haired guy had just given her more openings to carry on the conversation, whether he knew it or not, liked it or not.

"Well, you can't blame me because after your guys got whipped by Sora it was quite obvious," Yuffie went on, her eyes swishing back and forth from Leon and Cloud to gauge their reaction. She was a bit disappointed when she saw that none of them had wavered a bit. (Though internally they were having dark thoughts about losing once again.)

"What do you mean?" Leon knew he was treading on dangerous ice with the way this exchange of dialogue was going, but he couldn't help but be curious, especially if it involved Sora. Normally though, he would've blown her off, preferring whatever it was he was doing at the current moment than taking a dip in icy, murky waters.

"Wait, I have to ask another question," Yuffie said as she directed her attention to Cloud. The boy gave her a blank look, though it might've been interpreted as a warning of danger. "Are you by any chance a girl cross dressing as a guy?"

That remark did it, though outwardly Cloud hardly twitched. He got snide remarks about him being feminine in the past, (though why he really didn't know because it was very obvious to the eye that he was male) but he thought he had solved the case when he had started wearing what he wore. Either that, or the wing really wiped people's minds clear about the commenting, but here was a girl who wasn't afraid to tell it straight to his face. Nonetheless, her presence was ticking off Cloud.

"Yuffie, what are you trying to get at this?" Leon asked impatiently, quite fed up with the day as it is. He wished she'd get to the point so he could throw himself down on a bed and think. After all, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

"I don't know," she confessed truthfully. "I just thought that maybe you and Cloudy here had a kid together."

There was another abrupt halt to their pace, causing several people behind them to grumble and complain. No one really cared for them because one "Shut up!" from Yuffie was enough to send them off. Cloud was already looking for an escape route and ditch them until further notice while Leon began compiling a million reasons and ways to tell Yuffie that what she had just suggested was the simple most unpractical things she could have ever said. He wondered briefly is Yuffie knew that it was impossible for two males to produce offspring, but decided that they had better not go there in fear of her prodding more questions, and he had already had enough questions from her today to last years.

"It's impossible," Leon told her, seeing that it was probably the best answer for the situation. Yuffie, however, seemed unconvinced.

"Well, you can't deny that he looks like the two of you crossed, only shorter" Yuffie pouted, making a point to pat them both on the head to show what she had meant. Even Cloud and Leon couldn't object to the fact that Sora had spikes like Cloud, roughly the same hue of hair as Leon, and both of their determination to pursue… eh… whatever it was they were to pursue. The point was though, plainly enough, she was _wrong_, and no doubt both of them wanted to get that fact across to her.

"Yuffie, it's impossible," Leon repeated.

"Why? It makes sense!" Yuffie stated, though all of her common sense was screaming just the opposite at her. The look on their faces was priceless, and Yuffie wished she had something to capture the moment with.

"No, it doesn't," Leon said, and with that, he and Cloud began speeding up their pace. Being stubborn as she was, Yuffie increased her speed as well.

"Can you prove that?" Yuffie challenged, actually beginning to believe in her crazy imagination.

"Go ask Sora yourself if you don't believe it," Leon said before he and Cloud vanished into the crowd, leaving Yuffie stranded behind. Aggravated, she mumbled to herself:

"Fine, I will!"

* * *

"No, my mom's still back home," Sora said. He didn't know why he sounded apologetic, but it seemed his answer came out that way. Yuffie gave a dejected sigh. Once again, she had lost to the man she so wished to prove wrong, but she knew well before this that there was no way she would be able to win this one. 

"But you know, you do kind of look like him," Donald mused as Sora gave him a surprised look.

"Who?" he asked.

"That Cloud guy," Donald answered.

"Gawrsh, do ya think Aerith might be his mother then?" Goofy asked. Another gear in Yuffie's mind began clicking. Yes! Of course! Why didn't she think about this before? It made so much more sense!

"Guys, I'm pretty sure I know who my parents are."

* * *

"I can't believe her," Leon sighed. Cloud didn't need to ask to know that he was talking about Yuffie, but he did have something he wanted to ask. He pondered on whether or not to voice his thoughts, and ultimately decided that he did need another's opinion. 

"Do I really look like him?" Cloud asked softly, referring to Sora. Leon examined the other quickly, and upon doing so found something very disturbing about his image next to Sora's.

"…Yes."

And that was the brutal truth.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to all those who reviewed, and after reviewing the story, I guess it is in dire need of a conclusion.

* * *

The Conclusion (yes, brilliant was to name it, I know)

* * *

Despite what Sora had told her, Yuffie was still a bit unconvinced. Well, she was probably more fixed on laughing at Leon's face than knowing the truth. The fact was, Yuffie was still unhappy with the answers she had gotten, andLeon had just kept saying that "It's impossible", but Yuffie wanted to know _why_. All her life she had been raised to fight and nothing else. Aerith had attempted to teach her basic biology a couple of years back, but that didn't go too well with Yuffie's attention span, and when Leon mentioned algebra, Yuffie gave up on being book smart altogether. In her opinion, as long as she could read, she'd be able to survive without knowing mitosis, quadratic equations and all of that pointless stuff. 

That proved to be the wrong answer when it came to this case.

"Leon, Sora said you were his dad," Yuffie chided as she leaned up against his doorframe. She could just see him grimacing with his face in the pillow, and despite her knowing it was a lie, Yuffie was having fun toying with the other's mentality. Leon, on the other hand, wasn't handling it too well, muttering profanities into the pillow and cursing the existence of the day. Cloud, who had stopped by his place for a chat, was also put into a state of irritation by Yuffie's presence, especially when she added, "And Sora also says you're the best mother a guy could have and that he loves you very much."

Cloud immediately made for the door, knowing that it was his cue to leave, but Yuffie stood firm, even under his trademark death glare. She did admit that the black wing and the red ripped cape and just about every inch of him was intimidating, but she had learned to keep those thoughts from surfacing. Besides, she was still hungry for an answer, and she wasn't about to let anyone leave until she was satisfied.

"Yuffie, I've already told you it's impossible," Leon said as he rolled onto his back and stared at the ceilings. He frowned slightly when he say that it had an array of cracks that resembled lightning, and hoped that it wouldn't collapse on him at any given moment without warning, though since Yuffie was here, it might've not been as bad.

"Why?" Yuffie demanded as she stepped in and closed to door and propped herself down in front of it to prevent Cloud from escaping. The man gave her a dark look before he retired to the chair, knowing that he had been trapped. Had it been a stranger, he would, again, considered permanently detaching her head from her shoulders and strut out of the room with only an inkling of guilt.

"Because it is!" Leon snapped, getting rather impatient. He would have made for the door as well, but he knew that if they didn't settle this now, Yuffie would bug him to the end of time and would not relent. Leon would take and hour of torture over years of it any day… which regrettably happened to be today.

"But why?" Yuffie shot back with the same amount of displeasure. She didn't see what the big deal of a simple answer was. All Leon had to do was answer her question and then she'd reward him by leaving him alone for a while before something else popped up. It wasn't that hard, was it?

"Because it's not possible for two guys to have a child," Leon said as he snapped into a sitting position, eyes begging Yuffie to just go and leave them both alone. Yuffie, however, still wanted a more thorough explanation. Though she knew that guys and girls could have a baby, she didn't know why it was limited to that. Anyhow, she still wanted to annoy the brunette even more, and maybe the blonde for extra points.

"Well, why?" Yuffie asked.

Leon gave an exasperated sigh as he buried his face in his hands, hoping that he might miraculously find that he was in a dream. When he opened his eyes though, he was disappointed, but not surprised to find that it was still reality. Across the room, Cloud's eyes were still fixed on the door, though noticeable twitched were emerging on his usually emotionless complexion. He was wishing that he could just _leave_, and the wall was looking awfully friendly right now as an escape route. All he'd have to do was bust it down and zip out of there before Yuffie knew what hit her, and he still had more than enough munny to pay for damages if that's what it came to. Still, he couldn't deny that even though it was a touchy subject, Cloud really didn't want to break down a wall in fear that the old thing might collapse altogether, and Leon under pressure was an enticing sight. Leon took a deep breath as his brain began to clank for an answer:

"Yuffie, do you know how a baby is formed?" Leon could've mentally beaten himself up for saying something so embarrassing. His only refuge was that no one was laughing, though Cloud's closed eyes was telling him that he was mentally laughing, which was almost as bad. Still, he believed that the direct route was better than beating around the bush and dragging everything out. He wanted to rest, and he knew he wouldn't be able to get it with Yuffie around.

"No," Yuffie answered, completely oblivious, and Leon cursed silently. This was going to be harder than he thought.

"Well… it happens when two people... love each other very much," Leon went on, "and it only happens when it's with a male and a female, so that's why it isn't possible, and now you can le-"

"Only?" Yuffie asked skeptically. There was something about Leon wanting to get rid of her that was pulling her towards the conclusion that there was something he wasn't telling her.

"Well… no, but…" Leon couldn't tell Yuffie a lie even if he wanted to, because the girl always had a way of knowing, and would chase him to the corners of the world to strangle it out of him, and by that it was not in a figurative sense. Cloud seemed just plain disturbed. Yes, very touchy subject indeed.

"Then so it's possible for you two to have a kid?" Yuffie asked innocently. Leon gritted his teeth.

"No."

"Then what about you and Aerith?" Yuffie went on. Leon restrained himself from screaming.

"It's possible, but we wouldn't-"

"So is Sora yours and Aerith's child?" Yuffie pressed. Leon resisted the nagging urge to slam his head into the wall and hope that the lack of brain cells would momentarily put him into unconsciousness so he'd be able to escape. Of course, this was Leon, and even if he wanted to, he couldn't.

"No."

"But don't you love Aerith?" Yuffie demanded. For once, Leon saw Yuffie in a new light of terror.

"Yes, but not in that sense."

"Then what sense?"

"Well, I don't hate her, but-"

"Then you love her."

"I already said not in that sense!"

"But you don't hate her."

"Fine then, I love her, but-"

"Then what about that Cloud? Do you love Cloud?"

Cloud, who had been trying to occupy his train of thoughts with something else, was unwillingly drawn back into Yuffie and Leon's spat with the mentioning of his name. From his standpoint and his recollection of the previous snippets, he knew it couldn't be a good thing. Then again, this whole thing wasn't a good thing.

"I don't hate him," was the response Leon gave. He felt it was best to tread across middle ground.

"So you love him."

"If I say yes, will you go away?" Leon was desperate now to get this over with.

"Maybe."

Leon inhaled sharply, but Yuffie hardly budged and inch. She really couldn't understand why he was so forcefully avoiding the question. A simple answer would do. However, it seemed that a simple answer was one that Leon couldn't give her. Yuffie didn't understand why he wanted to prolong this. It didn't make sense.

"Yuffie, can we discuss this some other time?" Leon asked, hoping that she would agree so he could maybe persuade Aerith to tell her about the birds and the bees. It would probably be less embarrassing to have her do it than him. Besides, Leon didn't know if he could take Yuffie's reaction when it finally clicked in her mind.

"No," was Yuffie's response, laced with a pout. Persistent she was, and relenting she wasn't, and it made a bad combo for Leon.

"Can you ask Aerith?"

"Why can't you tell me? Don't you love me?" Yuffie grumbled. Apparently to her, if you didn't hate someone, you loved him or her. 'Like' just ceases to exist, and that was another bump Leon had to overcome to make Yuffie get his point, which was not about regeneration, but for her to get out.

"Yuffie," Leon said, "I feel the same about you as I do with Aerith and Cloud."

"So… you love me?"

"No, not like that."

"Then you hate me?"

"No, I don't hate you, it's just-"

"So does that mean we can have kids?"

"No, we can't."

"But didn't you say it happens between a guy and a girl?"

"Yes, but we are _not_ having kids."

"Then what about you and Cloud? Or Aerith? You love them, right? Can you have their kids?"

"No, it's just…" Leon was at his tipping point, and he didn't know how long his tower of patience could hold out. It was like a house of cards, another movement and it all went flat.

"He sees us as a friend." Cloud decided that the least he could do was help Leon out a bit, and by doing so he hoped to soon see daylight. Sure, it was blazing hot daylight, but daylight nonetheless and not this dreary room with Yuffie in it.

"Oh. So does that mean-"

"Yuffie? Is Leon with you?"

Leon didn't know why Aerith was here, but thank goodness she was. Yuffie immediately bolted up for her to enter and out flashed Cloud to escape the façade and in came Aerith with a confused expression painted onto her face. First off there was that sudden whirl of colors that streaked by her, and then a miserable Leon and a not-so-innocent Yuffie met her sights. It didn't take all that much to make Aerith know that something was going on.

"Cid brought me along," she explained. "Are you two okay?"

"Aerith," Yuffie said, "Can you and Leon have a child?"

Aerith blinked, rather taken aback by what Yuffie said she looked towards Leon for an explanation. A scowl told her all that she needed to know. She couldn't say that she wasn't surprised. She knew that sooner or latter Yuffie would hit this subject, and now just so happens to be that time. Not wanting to delay their _pleasant_ pilot any longer though, Aerith said:

"Let's discuss this on the way back."

* * *

Somewhere between the crossing of the Coliseum and Transverse Town, a shriek in the form of "Gross" could be heard echoing across the realm. 


End file.
